laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
