dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
