I molested 6 butterflies tonight
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
