I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
