Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
i drank out of a bidet.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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