I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
