so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Can I color on your dick again?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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