you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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