guys are not supposed to queef...right?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
