Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
