First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
