what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize