if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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