He is such a slut. More and more my type.
home. puking in laundry basket.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
