i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Randomize
