He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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