Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
