it wasn't lemon gatorade
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Randomize
