thus making me awesome and them whores
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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