im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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