you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
