Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
