How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
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