We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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