he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
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