Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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