Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
