why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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