remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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