How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
