haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
