i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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