I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
