i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
