Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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