It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
