I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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