I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
