All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
