Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
