the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
