Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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