i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
We need to rekindle our bromance
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
