It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
