Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Randomize
