I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
