i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
