if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Randomize
