Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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