what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
